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A joke – an elderly couple were visiting the county fair. While wandering around they noticed that helicopter rides were being offered for fifty dollars. The wife turned to the husband and excitedly said, “Let’s go on a helicopter ride!” The old man just shook his head and replied, “Honey, that’s a lot of money. Fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” and they walked off. The next year the same couple was back at the fair and again helicopter rides were being offered for fifty dollars. The woman wanted to go for a ride but again her husband just shook his head and said, “Sorry, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” The woman sighed and the old couple walked off. The next year, they were again back at the fair and again helicopter rides were being offered. Again the wife asked her husband to go up on a ride but again the man answered “Fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” This time though the pilot was nearby and overheard their conversation. He stopped the couple and said, “Listen, I will make you a deal. I will take you up and give you the best and most thrilling helicopter ride of your lives and if I hear not a single thing from you – no words, no laughing, no exclamations – your ride will be free!” The old man – always quick to get something for nothing – immediately said yes and up the three went in the helicopter! The pilot was true to his word – it was the best and most thrilling helicopter ride! The day was beautiful and you could see for miles! The pilot, to add a little excitement (and try to get some sound out of the two) even steeply banked the helicopter one way and then the other way throughout the ride. The pilot was amazed though because throughout the whole ride he heard not one sound from the elderly couple. Finally, after landing he turned around and realized that the old man was not in the helicopter. “Where is your husband?” he asked the woman. “Oh, he fell out about thirty minutes ago.” Shocked, the pilot asked, “Why didn’t you say something?!”. “Well,” she said, “fifty dollars is fifty dollars!”
Relationships are a mystery are they not? When we step back to think about it though, we quickly realize how so much of our lives – our time, our attention, our energy, our focus – is caught up in relationship! Whether it be the relationship of friendship, of family, of work, of church, of our relationship with God or (as today’s readings highlight) the very ancient and unique relationship of husband and wife. So much of all that we are about and are is caught up in this mystery of relationship. The readings for today cast some light on this deep, abiding and sometimes conflicted mystery.
The first truth shared is that we are made for relationship. God himself says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.” God – who himself is a trinity of relationships – has built within us the need for relationship. And it is a need critical for our own flourishing! We are in essence hardwired for relationship and we only become who we are meant to be through relationship. The vocation of marriage witnesses this in an utterly unique and potentially holy way. Husbands and wives are meant to help one another grow in holiness – which means comfort, support but also challenge when needed. The “two becoming one flesh” is a great mystery that God himself has written into creation that should not be passed over lightly.
The second truth is that this need and drive for relationship has – along with everything else – been wounded and warped by sin. This is a sad reality and how much pain it causes in our world and in every individual life. Angry words, sad, poor and hurtful choices, violence in all sorts of ways even over generations and whole nations wound and leave scars that last a lifetime or more. No form of relationship (including marriage) is immune from these dangers and this hurt.
I speak from my experience and what I witnessed in the lives of my parents. When I was in fourth grade my parents divorced. My father was an alcoholic who tried but was never able to overcome his disease. My senior year of high school he drank himself to death. My mother was faced with a very tough choice on how to raise her boys in the best possible way within a bad situation. They divorced. It hurts when the very real wounds of sin break a relationship. It is almost natural – a “sad natural” – that a hardness of heart sets in when there has been pain.
The third truth – and this is the saving message – is that there is one who has come and who remembers (because he was there) the truth of relationship before the hardness of heart. “Jesus told them, … ‘But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’” This one who has come is neither afraid nor scandalized by suffering. The Letter to the Hebrews reminds us that, in fact, he has been made perfect through suffering. He is neither afraid nor scandalized by suffering and he is willing to walk each one of us back to the truth and the wholeness and the authenticity found in the beginning of God’s creation.
The fourth, and final truth for today – wherever you are in life allow Christ to walk you back to that wholeness and authenticity of relationship we were made for by God before the hardness of heart. If you are in marriage – allow Christ to continually walk you and your spouse back to that wholeness of relationship which existed prior to the hardness of heart. Every day! Every day, allow Christ to walk you back. Every day do the work that is needed! Do not take anything or anyone for granted. If you are in the brokenness of divorce realize, please realize that Christ is not put off, he is not scandalized. He is the one made perfect through suffering. He meets you there in the suffering – he heals what needs to be healed, he strengthens what needs to be strengthened. Allow him to walk you back to the wholeness and authenticity that God wants for you before the hardness of heart. Allow him to walk with you.
Christ remembers, he remembers before the hardness of heart.
Christ, help us to remember.
Christ, walk each one of us back to the life that was before the hardness of heart. Walk each one of us into the fullness of your Father’s Kingdom.
When questioned about the accusations in the letter written by Archbishop Carlo Viganó on the return flight to Rome after the World Meeting of Families in Ireland, Pope Francis did something quite revolutionary I think. He did not just say, “I will not say a single word on this” as many people have been focusing on. He went on to do something else, he opened a door and he made an invitation.
I have been ordained for twenty-three years now and my entire priesthood has been lived under the shadow of the clergy abuse scandal. It began when I was in seminary in Chicago. I remember spending the days in prayer, class and formation for priesthood and then watching the six o’clock evening news as the latest wave of the scandal broke. Talk about a disconnect! But seminaries (by their nature) exist in a bubble. After ordination there was the news from Boston and other parts of the country but that was “out there” – still somewhat removed. It all came crashing home when the bishop who ordained me was accused of abuse and admitted to this abuse. He spent the remainder of his days praying and working in the laundry room of a monastery. A priest from my diocese (former pastor to the parish to which I now serve) was arrested and is currently in prison for abusing a child. A priest classmate was removed from ministry for inappropriate contact with a minor. And now it is all stirred up again with the recent report from Pennsylvania. My whole priesthood and the priesthood of now at least a couple of generations of priests has been lived under the shadow of this scandal.
Mary Lou was a woman I came to know in a previous assignment. She has since passed away. May she rest in peace. Mary Lou was one of those people who had the gift and (I think) the discipline of hospitality. Whether she was receiving one guest for a simple visit or a party of fifteen for a dinner, she knew how to welcome people, put them at ease and (in a good sense, never overbearing) see that their needs were met. I think that she saw hospitality as a holy act – a way of discovering and acknowledging the good in the other person. When you left Mary Lou’s house you were nourished on a multitude of levels.
(This homily is geared toward our parish “Growing in Faith Day”. It focuses on the gifts of community, faith and the Eucharist.)
On this Sunday we are given an invitation. After the feeding of the multitude and our Lord withdrawing for some solitude we are told that the crowds in today’s gospel (Jn. 6:24-35) come in search of Jesus but their intent is not the most sincere and our Lord is aware of this. “Amen, amen, I say to you, you are looking for me not because you saw signs but because you ate the loaves and were filled.”
For a couple of weeks now I have been leading a weekly discussion group on Pope Francis’ recent Apostolic Exhortation “Rejoice and Be Glad”. In this exhortation, the Holy Father is encouraging every member of the Church to recognize and embrace his or her own unique call to holiness. The exhortation is a wonderful document and, I believe, it shows forth Pope Francis’ training as a retreat director steeped in the Ignatian practice of discernment.
Living in our social media age has led me to ask the following questions in light of today’s gospel (Mk. 6:1-6). “If Jesus were alive today would he be on Facebook?” “If he were on Facebook, what would he post?” “How would we react to his posts? Would we like them, would we unlike them, would we unfollow him, would we perhaps even defriend him?”
I recently read a daily reflection that made the following point: “Just as nature abhors a vacuum, Jesus abhors vagueness.” In one sense it is easy to speak in generalities and vagueness in regards to faith and God. “Yes, I love God. I love all people. I want to help and serve everyone. I want peace for the whole world.” It is easy to say these things in the general sense but how do we live in the particular moment? Can I show love to the person I don’t like or understand? Can I be patient in a chaotic moment of family life? Can I take time to pray even though the demands of the day seem unceasing? Can I choose hope even in a time of pain and loss? Can I seek justice in moments of injustice? Can I turn the other cheek even when I am wronged? It is not in speaking nice generalities but rather in the choices of particular moments that the Kingdom of God is found.
The movie “Romero” tells the story of the events leading up to the assassination and martyrdom of Archbishop Oscar Romero of El Salvador. (Archbishop Romero will be canonized a saint this coming fall.) Romero served as archbishop during a painful time of violence and unrest in his country. During this conflict, the archbishop made the choice to stand beside the poor and for this he was killed.